:<

it's sad bitches hour


i really want to post on twitter about commissions but it's so pointless...nobody ever bites. even when i offer super cheap ones. i'm not sure anyone ever actually sees those posts anyway. it always feels like screaming into the void...

Posted: 11:40 PM 1/24/20205


speaking of stardew, does anyone play and wanna do co-op sometime? i dont really have anyone to play with on the reg.

Posted: 11:20 PM 1/20/2020

>:)

successfully got my niece addicted to stardew valley. we played on LAN all night. >:) >:) >:)

Posted: 1:47 AM 1/18/2020

well shit

had to delete the entry from a week or two ago that had the trippy mushroom animations cuz the website that was hosting the images was fucking up. i dont think i'll reupload them here though because the files were huge. they are on my other website though.

Posted: 2:18 PM 1/16/2020

pixel art

got really bored and spur of the moment idea decided to make a little pixel art tip jar thing. it's at the bottom right of the page. it's alright... i'm not super great at pixel art obvs but i just wanted to do it. thought it would be cute. at first i wanted to make the coins spinning around but that was more work than i was willing to put into it.

Posted: 4:16 AM 1/16/2020

ffffffffffff

i'm bored.

Posted: 10:35 PM 1/15/2020

a thing

thought about putting this on redbubble as stickers and shit but i think i'm going to close my redbubble after the january payment comes through. i dont make enough money there to justify keeping it open honestly, and now with redbubble changing their payout rules and implementing a fucking minimum payout balance that i'll never fucking reach, and literally didn't in an entire year, fuck it. i'm just gonna close the fuckin shit.

 

i'll make the stickers myself and put them on storenvy. they wont be as nice... but fuck it.

 

i need to find vinyl sticker paper.

Posted: 3:28 PM 1/14/2020

 fucking cunt shit ass fuck shit cunt

i'm so fucking pissed off.


two, count them, FUCKING TWO, god damn coils out of this box of five that i got for my vape were fucking duds that didn't fucking work.
these stupid fucking things cost like $3-$3.50 each, this is GOD DAMN UNACCEPTABLE, SMOK!! YOU FUCKING SHIT ASS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT COMPANY. FUCKING ROT IN A FIRE YOU CUNTS.

i'm so fed up with dealing with vape bullshit. i wish i didn't have to. but it's the only decent way to take CBD for my god damn monster fucking PMS god damnit bullshtiojkdlsfjdklsdfjkslf;dhag;lh asfkldhjsa fld bitch cunt motherFUCK

 

Edit @ 1:13 AM 1/21/2020: i ordered a cbd-specific vape online, it's really tiny. it's cute, and i like it, but i can't taste my goddamn juice and there is hardly any vapor. it's disappointing, but that's the sacrifice i have to make because i use CBD i guess :/

Posted: 8:51 PM 1/12/2020

 hfngphfdsafds

nothing to write about.
did a bonfire last night. pretty much it.


still tired... back to bed maybe. fuck it.

Posted: 11:32 AM 1/12/2020

new things

added a custom cursor. i wish i could figure out how to make expression web 4 automatically insert the date and time and in a specific format so i wont have to manually type it in every entry :/

Posted on Jan. 9, 2020 @ 12:05 AM

bitch ass bitch

went into the local fabric/sewing shop for the first time today, and walked right the fuck back out.
bitch, aint nobody gonna buy a small pack of thin cotton fat quarters for over $100, you're fucking delusional for asking so much.
like, i'm legitimately offended by the prices in that shop. anyone who buys anything from there is getting fuckin fleeced, hard.

Posted on Jan. 7, 2020 @ 8:11 PM

welp

i had food poisoning. that sucked. finally feeling relatively normal... i'm still weary as fuck from not having good nutrition for 4 fuckin days.

Posted on Jan. 6, 2020 @ 11:20 AM

hm

i wanna do more adventurous stuff with this website but... idk what. i wonder what gets people coming together in the neocities community. i dont know much about it. i do know theres seemingly nobody else dbz related here though...(´−`)

Posted on Jan. 1, 2020 @ 8:07 PM

it's exhausting.

i'm so tired of having to maintain two separate identities online. i wish i could just, like, stop giving a shit what people think of me IRL, because people who are offended by the natural me aren't people i want to associate with anyway, but i still can't fucking help myself from hiding behind a censored facade. i have an entirely separate website for my non-dbz art, and i don't even have a journal there or half the content on it that i do here because i dont want to "scare off" anyone who might be interested in my art.

but at the same time... like i said, anyone who would be offended can fuck off anyway. but i just fuckin' can't let go and actually say fuck it. goddamn it.

fuck.
shit.
bitch.
ass. fuck.
the issue is, like, i'll do local trade shows and in-person art related things, and i'm obviously not going to go by a persona in those scenarios... i need business cards with my real identity on them and shit, i can't just like... you know... i can't sell a piece of jewelry or a portrait commission to a 72 year old grandma and have that AND my dbz/smut related shit or bitching-ranting personal journals mixed together within the same space...
and i have zero personal information there (i mean, i dont here either, but here i have journals and i'm not afraid to say what i want for fear of who might see it, because of the nature of the content i create under the Ryoko Tedeschi name, it doesn't matter - it's vulgar by nature. but i dont even want to SAY anything if its attached to my real identity, like no insight into me as a person or my personality, because i'm afraid that if i even speak a single word beyond very basic communication about what i do or offer in the art world, people will be offended.
i have this problem off the internet too, i really dont like being around people who aren't a carbon copy of myself: ie- vulgar, cuss a lot, etc. i just dont feel comfortable around people who constantly have a Rated-G shield up around themselves, because i feel extremely out of place and disconnected from those kind of people.
it makes me feel like a streetwalker inside a nun house. i don't wanna be there, other people don't want me there, so lets just split and not coexist at all.


now that i think about it, i think i'm so adamant about keeping a squeaky clean image for the real-name attached stuff because i dont want to cut down my potential client pool. even though i hate having to put on a fake persona to deal with average folk, they have money and i'm a broke bitch.

uuuugh i fucking hate this.

Posted on Jan. 1, 2020 @ 5:03 PM

boom

Posted on Jan. 1, 2020 @ 12:51 AM

ugh

fuck i feel like shit.

Posted on Dec. 31, 2019 @ 9:07 PM

yea

i wonder how many of those "views" in my view count are just me looking at my own website out of boredom.

Posted on Dec. 30, 2019 @ 5:00 PM

fuck

i think i made my throat worse by belting out lana del rey songs all day just because my voice's balls dropped low enough because of the cold to actually hit the damn notes.

i knew i shouldn't have and fuckin did it anyway

Posted on Dec. 28, 2019 @ 3:16 AM

fuckin' ew

the dog just very audibly farted

Posted on Dec. 27, 2019 @ 10:16 PM

meh

i dont like how this came out. blargh. also its really fucking difficult (read: impossible) to get any of my cameras to properly photograph UV shit. goddamnit.

fjdklfjkdlsfjkdlsjfklds

Posted on Dec. 27, 2019 @ 9:20 PM

FUCK

goddamn just nearly blinded myself with SOUP.

shit splashed into my eyeball and was spicy as FUCK.

Posted on Dec. 27, 2019 @ 5:37 PM

hack

the worst thing about having a cold: suffocating on your own skull juice.

the best thing about having a cold: suddenly you sound like barry white.

Posted on Dec. 27, 2019 @ 12:45 PM

i have a fucking cold

fuck

Posted on Dec. 26, 2019 @ 8:53 PM

current mood

fuck

Posted on Dec. 26, 2019 @ 10:48 AM

damn

woke up with a dry, sore throat. hasn't gone away after drinking warm drinks and shit. really hope it's not illness. this is why i never hang out around people, especially with kids... fuckin goddamn disease vectors.

Posted on Dec. 24, 2019 @ 1:08 PM

a'ight bitch

we fokkin doin' this

Posted on Dec. 23, 2019 @ 6:13 PM

listless

blah. feeling very listless and bored. i have wanted to do a canvas painting for days but i just haven't. this room... it's too disorganized. i can't work in a disorganized and cluttered space. but i also don't know how to fix it. i dont have much wiggle room and just thinking about it drains all the energy from me. sigh

s e n d     h e l p

bitch

Posted on Dec. 23, 2019 @ 12:06 PM

new layout

yarp.

Posted on Dec. 22, 2019 @ 12:24 AM

i think i'm gonna change the layout again...

i know i change my layout a lot, but i'm already bored with this one. i want to go back to a blacklight-glowy looking one, but a new one. i may work on that tonight despite being tired. i dont want to go to bed at this hour and wake up at midnight again and be up till fuckin 5 a.m.

Posted on Dec. 21, 2019 @ 9:21 PM

nothing to update...again

it's still sad bitches hour though.
at least i got my money back from the fraudulent card charges.

on a lighter note, a local vape shop contacted me to do a mural in their store. we haven't discussed much about it yet, their conversation (through IG DM) is kind of spotty. i'm thinking i might need to go to the store and talk in person, although my introvert ass dreads doing that.

i hope they're serious, and it's not one of those lookie-loo type of things where someone contacts you and then ghosts you after hearing a price. i also hope they dont want anything super complicated... like things that involve blended shading. i'm good with that when it comes to watercolor but acrylic wall paint is a whole 'nother game entirely. i hope they want something whimsical. i was certain they were gonna ask for a blacklight mural but they said regular paint. kind of dissappointed on that, actually. a blacklight-reactive mural would be fuckin sick. i might just have to do one on my own wall, because i really want to do one now.
i dont know what to charge. i'm thinking around $15 to $20 a square foot... but i'll have to get to the part where they discuss what they actually want before i decide on that. if they want portraiture or something that's gonna be a nightmare. lort i hope they dont ask for that. cross your fingers they want whimsy.

Posted on Dec. 21, 2019 @ 9:15 PM

sad bitches hour

sad bitches where you at

Posted on Dec. 19, 2019 @ 12:25 AM

ugh

nothing to update... still haven't done any art or crafting or anything. just no motivation to, idk. need magic motivation juice or some shit.

on more annoying matters, some fuckhead got my debit card info somehow (there must have been a breach somewhere and the info was leaked/stolen because my card has never gone missing and it's a chip card) and used it to buy something for $3 on fuckin alibaba. i hate alibaba. i have to wait until the transaction isnt on "pending" anymore to dispute it. if i dont get it back i'll be livid, (it's the principal of the thing, also $3 can buy a lot of ramen and i'm a broke bitch) but i probably will given that it's $3 and the bank rep i talked to on the phone said she'd literally just gotten off the phone with someone else who had the same exact issue. so FUCK ALIBABA, and fuck every single website just like it. they're fucking horrible. and fuck whoever stole my debit card info.

probably gonna exclusively use paypal to buy shit from now on, or use burner cards if i have to get something from somewhere that doesn't accept it.

Posted on Dec. 18, 2019 @ 12:53 PM

prints

added a print shop link to the links section

Posted on Dec. 15, 2019 @ 12:34 PM

i think i'm gonna add a recipes section

i had one on one of my old websties a long time ago, i thought it was a fun thing to add, if pointless since i dont think i ever get traffic to this website lmao but fuck it, i'm gonna do it anyway because I WANNA AND THIS IS MY HOUSE BITCH

Posted on Dec. 10, 2019 @ 9:46 PM

i did stuff

fjdklsjfksl

Posted on Dec. 10, 2019 @ 5:56 PM

weeeeeeelll....

i meant to stream art yesterday since my internet is fixed now but i had to do a favor for someone and that ended up taking up the rest of the afternoon, so i never got around to it.

...not like anyone would have watched anyway cough


i made two patches yesterday ... i need to make more before putting them in my shop though. sort of currently distracted with keeping an eye on the shipping stuff for that printer.

Posted on Dec. 9, 2019 @ 6:04 PM

so

i'm getting a large format inkjet printer, which means i'll be able to produce my own NSFW prints now. hadn't been able to do any NSFW prints because i never could find a print shop that would do that kind of thing. just need to find a decently priced paper. the printer i'm getting is supposed to be able to do up to 11x17.

i'm hoping people actually buy them... at any rate i can make any prints i want now without having to worry about whether or not a print shop will print it, for various reasons. also i think i can start making vinyl stickers now, though vinyl sticker paper appeared to exist for lasers on amazon, i never bought any to try.

also i'll be able to print out sketchwork on watercolor paper now without having the lines be hydrophobic, like with the laser toner. there were a small handful of other things i wanted to do that required an injket but i dont remember them. oh, one of them was printing on shrink film, i think.

kind of bummed that my website doesn't show up in neocities' search now, i had to mark it as 18+, and while they claim there is a separate search function for nsfw websites, i've yet to see it. so i'm pretty cut off from the neocities community - not that i was really part of it to begin with, given the nature of my website. i wish more people in the dbz fandom had personal websites to form a web ring out of. the fandom (at least my corner of it...) has been pretty dead ever since tumblr exhiled us. even deader since there were several drama topics that split the fandom even further apart after that. sigh...

also for some reason my computer clock isn't keeping time correctly now.

well anyway... i dont feel well tonight. maybe i'm dehydrated... gonna drink some water and go to bed.

Posted on Dec. 6, 2019 @ 11:08 PM

shit

Posted on Dec. 5, 2019 @ 6:56 AM

i draw'd

Posted on Dec. 4, 2019 @ 12:53 PM

aye

fireeeeee

Posted on Dec. 3, 2019 @ 12:26 PM

lawd im tired pt 2

crisis averted... caught bug in jar.
as i was saying... im tired as fuck and everything hurts. the popup market was a mild success. far more successful than any other time ive tried similar events, oddly enough. this is pretty much the only time i actually made any profit and i didnt have to pay a booth fee. and it rained. and there was a tornado watch.
weird shit.

Posted on Nov. 30, 2019 @ 7:04 PM

lawd im tired

my back hurts like a bitch. watch me not be able to move tomorrow lul
bitch what the fuck?! i just heard very loud buzzing in the direction of where i last saw that godamHO FUCK SHIT ITS FLYING

Posted on Nov. 30, 2019 @ 6:57 PM

nothing to update

meh~

nothing to write about. other than the city was going to have a "small business saturday" event on the 30th and vendor spaces were free, but now there is a decent chance it will just get rained out. rip...

Posted on Nov. 24, 2019 @ 2:35 PM

ya'll ever just...

...dream of ham, and then wake up smelling ham?...


....because i just did.

Posted on Nov. 19, 2019 @ 2:31 AM

ko-fi sketch requests

sooooo if anyone reading this is interested, i'm offering ko-fi sketch requests, $10 or more gets you one.
plz help i need money

there is also my shop where you can buy stuff, prices have been lowered for the holidays as well.

Posted on Nov. 18, 2019 @ 6:56 AM

that new shit

alright... fuck it. i couldn't "fix" the old journal code, it was just too fucked up. so here... have an archive. warning: the code is hot garbage. i'm running my code thorough a validator now trying to make sure my shit is up to snuff... aint easy, w3 is so picky. had to start from scratch on this new layout and completely redo the whole site. doesn't help that my shitty html editors are severely out of date and keep putting oudated code snippets in... ugh

Posted on Nov. 17, 2019 @ 3:57 AM